the “Messy Middle”

Persisting Through the “Messy Middle” of the DIY Hustle

Question:
"Passing your prospectus was a major milestone, but you noted that the journey requires intense persistence to keep ‘moving on up.’ For motivated students balancing heavy course loads, side projects, and searching for scholarships on a tight budget, the hustle can lead to burnout. What practical strategies do you use to keep your momentum and stay grounded when the process feels exhausting?"

Dr. Renée’s Response:
This is such a real and important question because the messy middle is where many dreams get tested.

The beginning of a journey often comes with excitement. The finish line carries celebration. But the middle? The middle is where deadlines pile up, money feels tight, energy runs low, and progress can feel invisible. It is where burnout quietly tries to move in.

I know that space well. I know what it feels like to balance a full-time job, internships, academic demands, and financial pressure while trying to build something bigger than your current circumstances. It took me seven years to complete my Ph.D., and that journey required more than ambition—it required intentional pacing, self-respect, and endurance.

So if you are someone carrying responsibilities while trying to grow, please know this: you do not need to destroy yourself to become yourself.

Here are some of the practical ways I stayed grounded and kept moving forward.

1. Give yourself permission to go part-time if needed.
There is a myth that success must happen fast to be valid. That is not true.
During the fall of my junior year as an undergraduate student, I attempted to take 17 credit hours of demanding science courses all at once. The pressure became so intense that it affected my health, and I had to withdraw to recover. That experience taught me a lifelong lesson: pace matters.

Later, while completing my master’s and Ph.D. degrees while working full-time, I intentionally took only two classes per semester. I respected my limits instead of performing urgency.
Slow progress is still progress.
A delayed timeline is not a denied future.
Sometimes the strongest move is choosing sustainability over speed.

2. Schedule sacred time to do absolutely nothing.
When you are dependable and driven, people may expect you to always be productive. Sometimes you may expect that from yourself. But constant output without restoration creates emptiness.

During my doctoral program, I made Saturdays my recovery day. No papers. No deadlines. No guilt. Sometimes I would enjoy brunch, rest, watch television, or simply exist without producing anything.

That kind of rest is not laziness. It is maintenance.
Your mind needs silence.
Your body needs softness.
Your spirit needs room to breathe.

3. Let other parts of you live.
Rest does not always mean sleep. Sometimes rest means activating another side of yourself.

When I became drained by endless reading, writing, and academic intensity, I turned toward hands-on creative projects around my home—painting murals, installing fixtures, working with my hands, building beauty in physical spaces.
You might sing.
Dance in the kitchen.
Garden.
Color.
Cook something from memory.
Learn a craft.
Write poetry no one has to grade.
When one part of you is overworked, let another part of you shine.
You are more than your deadlines.

4. Break overwhelming goals into small, winnable steps.
Sometimes exhaustion is not only physical—it is psychological. Looking at a massive to-do list can make the mind freeze.

When that happened, I learned to break large projects into smaller tasks and mix in quick wins. Send one email. Read two pages. Organize one folder. Edit one paragraph. Submit one application.

Momentum often returns through movement.
Do not underestimate the power of crossing off one small thing. Sometimes one completed step can restart belief.

And yes—celebrate the small wins. They are not small when they were hard to do.

For those building while tired, stretching dollars, and carrying more than people can see:
You are allowed to slow down.
You are allowed to ask for help.
You are allowed to take fewer classes.
You are allowed to protect your peace while pursuing your goals.
You are allowed to succeed without constant suffering.
The path may be slower than you hoped, but slower does not mean lesser.

Liberation Lens Reminder:
Grinding is not the only path to growth. Rest, strategy, and pacing are forms of wisdom too.

Reflect Mode:
What part of your current hustle needs adjustment right now: your pace, your expectations, your schedule, or your self-compassion?