3. 0 - Social Media Is Not Real Life

Young African American, Afro-Latina, and Latina women collaborating and connecting in an innovation center.

This conversation takes place between Ebony, Nadine, Nicole Bakula, Sharlene, and a group of 10 girls (grades 6–12) and their mothers at an Innovation Center in a suburban Atlanta recreation center.


Scene: Community Room, Innovation Center – Early Evening
The room hums with chatter as mothers and daughters settle into a semi-circle of colorful chairs. A projector glows with the title slide: “Safety First Series: Social Media Is Not Real Life.” Ebony stands at the front with Nadine, Nicole Bakula, and Sharlene seated beside her. The atmosphere is relaxed and welcoming.

Ebony: (smiling warmly) Alright, y’all. Welcome. Tonight, we’re gonna talk about something that affects all of us—especially y’all who’ve grown up with phones in hand--social media. But not from a place of judgment. We just want to open up a real conversation about what it is... and what it is not.

Maya: So... like, how do y’all feel about it? Do you use social media every day?

Nadine: Hmm... (smiling thoughtfully) That’s a good one. I actually don’t post often. Even though I love taking pictures and documenting memories, especially of my family, I usually keep those private. My camera roll is full! But I think about what’s worth sharing and who it’s really for.

Sharlene: (laughs) Yes! I’m old school. I don’t post at all. In fact, my team runs my business accounts. I like to create content, sure, but I don’t need to be in it. I don’t need to share every part of my life to feel valid. Honestly, I don’t want strangers knowing my every move.

Selena: But isn’t it kinda weird to not be on at all? Like, don’t you miss out?

Nicole Bakula: I hear you. It’s tricky. I limit my time on social media. I don’t even have TikTok or any dating apps—never downloaded them. For me, it’s about boundaries. I still talk with friends, but I don’t feel like I need to be everywhere online. There’s power in being selective.

Ebony: That’s real. And can I just say--likes don’t equal your worth. You can post the funniest or deepest thing and barely get any attention, and someone else posts a dancing cat, and it goes viral. Social media doesn’t always reward what's meaningful. It rewards what grabs attention.

Gloria: That’s so important. I’ve seen my daughter sad because a post didn’t get enough likes. And I get it—it feels personal.

Lupita: Sometimes it’s hard not to compare yourself. Like, everybody looks so happy online.

Nadine: (nodding) And that’s the trap. Most of what we see is curated. It's like a highlight reel—not the messy, honest stuff. People don’t post their breakdowns or their rejections, just their wins.

Sharlene: And some of it’s exaggerated. Some folks are performing a version of their life for the camera—filters, staging, even lies. And it makes us feel like we’re the only ones struggling. But we’re not.

Nicole Bakula: Exactly. We all need moments off-screen to reconnect with reality. That’s why I unplug regularly. Just because something can be posted, doesn’t mean it should be.

Ebony: (to the girls) Let me ask y’all this—have you ever looked at someone’s post and thought, “Wow, their life is perfect”?
(Several girls nod slowly.)

Ebony: Yeah. But remember—some of the happiest-looking posts come from folks who are struggling. Don’t base your worth on a picture you saw at 2 a.m. while scrolling.

Michelle: So what do you post? If anything?

Sharlene: (smiling) Professional things only. Maybe a campaign or an event. But never personal. I’ve learned the hard way to keep what’s sacred offline.

Nadine: Same here. I post intentionally—artwork, design projects, or something that might encourage someone. But never out of pressure. If I don’t feel like sharing, I don’t.

Nicole Bakula: I focus on impact. If it’s useful, uplifting, or aligns with my values, I might share it. Otherwise, I let it live offline.

Ebony: And me? I post when I want to celebrate something I’m proud of, or to uplift someone else. But I’m not gonna post for likes. I’ve had to learn to keep some wins just for myself.

Iman: So it’s okay to post less?

​All (together): Yes!

Ebony: It’s more than okay—it’s powerful. You don’t have to post everything to be somebody. You already are.

Nicole Bakula: You’re allowed to have a private life. You’re allowed to rest, to not respond, to delete, and to say no thanks to trends that don’t feel good.

Nadine: Just ask yourself, “Who is this for?” If you’re posting to impress strangers or to prove something, take a breath. Your peace is more important.

Ebony: (gestures to the group) We’ll leave y’all with this: Social media is not real life. Real life is happening right here, in this room, with people who love you, who support you, and who see you—not through a filter.
The room falls into reflective silence as the projector fades to black, replaced with the words:

​“Be intentional. Be real. Be safe.”

✨ Reflect & Write Prompts: Reflect on the following prompts and write out your responses.
🌐 Understanding Social Media Habits

1. How do you decide what to post on social media?
   Do you think about who will see it, how it will look, or how many likes it might get?
2. Have you ever deleted a post because it didn’t get enough likes or comments?
   How did that make you feel?
3. What’s the difference between your real day and your social media day?
   If someone only saw your posts, what would they assume about your life?
4. Do you use filters when posting photos? Why or why not?
   How do filters make you feel about your unfiltered self?
5. When you scroll through other people’s pictures, what thoughts come to mind?
   Are there people you compare yourself to, even if you don’t mean to do it?
6. Have you ever felt worse after spending time on social media?
   What were you looking at, and why do you think it affected you that way?
7. Do you ever feel pressure to look or act a certain way online?
   Where do you think that pressure comes from?
8. What is one thing about you that you’ve never posted but you are proud of it?
   Why haven’t you shared it?
9. If someone only saw your online profile, would they really know who you are as a person?
   What would they be missing about you?
10. What boundaries—if any—do you set for yourself around social media?
    Are there times when taking a break might help your peace of mind?

💫 Reclaiming Self-Worth & Beauty Beyond the Screen

1. When you look at models or influencers online, how do they compare to people you see every day at school, church, or home?
   What do you notice that’s different between what you see online and everyday? What do you think is more real?
2. What makes someone beautiful to you, beyond how they look?
   Can you name a person in your life who is beautiful for reasons other than appearance?
3. Name three things you love about yourself that have nothing to do with how you look.
   Why are these things important to who you are as a person?
4. What are your gifts, talents, or special traits that no one else has exactly like you?
   How can you share those in the world—with or without social media?
5. If social media disappeared tomorrow, how would you let people know who you are as an individual?
   What would you want them to remember about you—your heart, your talents, your voice?

Dedicated to uncovering digital truths. This Digital Forensics Analyst, with her keen eye and vibrant red hair, is deeply immersed in her work.

🔐 Digital Forensics Analyst (or Computer Forensics Investigator)

• What they do: Investigate cybercrimes by recovering and analyzing data from computers, smartphones, and digital storage devices.
• Where they work: Law enforcement agencies, cybersecurity firms, government offices.

🔍 Digital Detectives: Is It Real or Just for the 'Gram?
​"Welcome, Digital Detectives! You’ve been hired to investigate whether the content you're seeing on social media reflects real life… or if it’s just for show. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to uncover the hidden clues in a few posts, ask critical questions, and report your findings."

Time: 30–45 minutes
Tools Needed:

• Smartphone, tablet, or laptop with internet access
• Access to at least one social media platform (Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, etc.)
• Digital worksheet (Google Doc, Form, or Notes App)

🧭 Objective:
To explore social media posts critically in real time and reflect on what might be curated, exaggerated, or filtered intentionally. Strengthen your digital literacy and confidence by distinguishing between online portrayals and real life.

📝 Instructions:
🌐 Step 1: Choose Your Feed
Open one of your favorite social media apps (or visit a public page). Choose 3–5 posts that catch your attention.
Look for:

• “Perfect” selfies
• Lifestyle influencer posts
• Sponsored content (#ad)
• Vacation or event highlight reels

🕵️‍♀️ Step 2: Investigate the Posts
For each post, discuss the following questions together. You can record your answers in a digital worksheet or voice memo:

1. What is being shown in this post?
2. What emotions or reactions did you feel when you first saw it?
3. Are there signs that the post might be curated or filtered? (lighting, angles, brand mentions, hashtags, matching outfits, etc.)
4. What do you not see? (mess, prep work, behind-the-scenes, emotion, effort)
5. What might the person be trying to communicate or get from this post?

🟥🟩 Step 3: Tag It—Real or Curated?
For each post, decide as a team:

• 🟥 Mark as “Curated” if it feels overly polished, performative, or filtered
  • Signs it may not reflect real life: filters, product placement, perfect lighting, unrealistic body poses
• 🟩 Mark as “Relatable” if it feels authentic, natural, or reflects real life
  • Signs it feels genuine or relatable: messy background, humor, honesty, visible emotions

You can note this by writing 🟥 or 🟩 next to each answer or using emojis in a shared doc or notes app.


💬 Step 4: Share & Reflect
Talk through these closing reflection questions together:

1. Did anything surprise you about what you noticed?
2. How does knowing this change the way you look at social media?
3. How do you feel now about the posts you usually see or share?
4. How can you support each other in posting with intention?
5. What does “real life” look like for you—and how can you celebrate that online or offline?
6. How can we apply this investigation skill when we scroll in real life?

​🧠 Optional Extension/Reflection:
“How can we remind ourselves and others that we are more than what we post?”
“What does it mean to post with honesty or intention?”

💡 Optional Final Prompt:
​Write or voice-record your own personal reminder. Here are a couple of examples:
“Just because it’s online doesn’t mean it’s real. I am enough just as I am.”
OR
“Before I post, I will ask: Who is this for? What am I really sharing?”