S2.1 - Friends, but not Followers

​Noel: Hey, everyone, I was thinking about something related to our online experiences, and I wanted to hear your thoughts. You know, I recently noticed that some of my friends and even acquaintances on social media are not following me back. It's like we're friends in real life, but not a follower online. Have any of you experienced this?
 
Njoki: (Nods) Oh, I can relate to that, Noel. It's something that I've encountered as well. But you know, there's another aspect to it that I've personally grappled with. I've had to strike a balance between being friends with someone in real life and choosing whether to follow them online, especially when I see friends posting videos of violent acts and deaths of Black people. It's not just a matter of not wanting to see some content; it's about protecting my mental and emotional well-being.
 
Serita: That's a tough situation, Njoki. I've seen some of those posts too, and they can be really distressing. I completely understand why you might want to set those boundaries online.
 
America: Yeah, it can be a bit tricky. I have some friends who post content that I really don't want to see repeatedly on my timeline. It's not that I don't like them as friends, but I want my online space to be more positive and uplifting.
 
Gloria: I get that, America. It's essential to curate your online experience to match your interests and mental well-being. But it can be a delicate balance, especially with people you care about in real life.
 
Denitra: Absolutely, Gloria. I think it's crucial to remember that online and offline relationships can coexist separately. You can still be great friends with someone in person without being followers online. It's about setting boundaries that work for you.
 
Njoki: That's a great point, Denitra. We all have different preferences when it comes to our online presence. It's essential to prioritize our mental health and the content we consume.
 
Noel: Thanks for sharing your perspectives, everyone. It's reassuring to know that I'm not the only one navigating this balance between being friends but not necessarily a follower online.
 
Njoki: You're welcome, Noel. Remember, it's your online space, and you have the right to make it a positive and comfortable environment for yourself.

Setting Boundaries on Social Media
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✨ Reflect and Write: Reflect on the following prompts and write out your responses.

🧠 Quick Recap
​In this lesson, Njoki and her friends talk about how hard it can be to balance real-life friendships with what happens online. They discuss setting boundaries on social media, protecting mental health, and choosing what kind of content they want to see—or not see. In this section, we'll also consider problems like trolling, cyberbullying, bots, and fake social media accounts.

✍🏽 Reflect & Write Prompts

1. Think about your own social media feed. What kind of posts make you feel good, and what kind of posts bring you down?
2. Have you ever felt pressure to follow someone online just because they’re your friend in real life? How did you handle that situation?
3. Njoki said she sets boundaries online to protect her mental health. What are some boundaries you might want to set for yourself?
4. What is “trolling”? Have you ever seen or experienced it? How did it make you feel? What could someone do to respond safely?
5. Some people create “finsta” accounts (fake Instagram accounts) to post private things or talk to only close friends. What are some risks that come with using or following a finsta?
6. Social media bots often post comments that are random or meant to cause trouble. Why do you think it’s important to tell the difference between a real person and a bot?
7. Imagine your little cousin asks you, “Is it okay if I follow everyone who follows me?” Write a short message or piece of advice you would give them about who to follow and why it matters.
8. If a friend kept posting things that upset you but you didn’t want to hurt their feelings by unfollowing, what would you do? Describe at least two options that show you can care for others and still care for yourself.

🧭 Activity: Clean Up Your Feed

🔍 Objective: To help you reflect on your digital environment and take intentional actions to create a healthier, safer, and more affirming experience on social media by setting clear boundaries.

✨ Instructions:

Step 1: Pause & Reflect (5–10 minutes)
Before opening your social media app, take a few minutes to answer the following in your journal or on a digital notepad:

• How do I feel after spending time on social media?
• What kind of content uplifts me? What drains me?
• Do I ever feel pressure to follow or keep following someone?
• When was the last time I cleaned up my feed?

Step 2: Open Your Most-Used Social Media App
Spend 15–20 minutes completing the “Feed Clean-Up” checklist below.
✅ Feed Clean-Up Checklist:

• Unfollow: Accounts that make you feel insecure, anxious, or no longer align with your values.
• Mute: People you care about but whose content overwhelms you or you need space from (you’ll still follow them, but won’t see every post or get alerts).
• Block: Trolls, strangers sending inappropriate messages, or accounts that consistently post harmful or triggering content.
• Follow: At least 3 new accounts that inspire, educate, or align with your passions (e.g., writers, artists, scientists, activists, historians, etc.).
• Moderate Comments: Adjust your comment settings to block harmful words or limit comments from people you don’t know.
• Turn Off Notifications: For accounts or apps that demand your attention and interrupt your focus constantly.
• Organize Close Friends/Private Stories: Create lists to share personal content only with people you trust.
• Check Tagged Photos: Un-tag yourself from posts you don’t want on your profile.

Step 3: Reflect Again (5–10 minutes)
After you’ve completed your clean-up, journal your thoughts:

• What was the hardest part of this activity? Why?
• How did it feel to let go of accounts that didn’t serve you?
• What’s one boundary you’ll commit to from now on when using social media?

💡 Optional Group Debrief:
Pair up or gather in small groups and discuss:

• What surprised you during the clean-up?
• Did anyone find an account that really inspired them?
• What advice would you give a younger sibling or cousin about curating their social media?

🧠 Extension Option:
​Create a “Digital Wellbeing Pledge” graphic or wallpaper with your top 3 social media boundaries and set it as your phone lock screen for one week.